It began with this thought:
“While there is no shame in covering your grey hairs, there’s no shame in flaunting them proudly!”
My decision to grow my natural hair color started as a nudge to move towards aging gracefully. I had so much grey, I was needing to dye it every 3 weeks. I was growing tired of booking hairdressers in all the different states I traveled to. Trying to manage this was becoming stressful.
And then I noticed more women on Instagram documenting their natural hair and embracing it, encouraging self-love.
So, I thought to myself, timing feels right. I’m going for it!
I learned when it comes to transitioning to grey, there’s no one way to do it. There’s a lot of things to consider, like natural hair color, hair type and how much hair is already grey.
In my case, the demarcation was obvious, it was not salt and pepper, it was ALL SALT! Interestingly, I loved the platinum silver coming through. I thought it was so vibrant. Here’s the tricky part, because of the distinct line of demarcation, I either had to get a pixie cut or highlight my hair blond and keep stripping the dyed part of my hair, while adding grey/silver toner.
I was NOT ready for a pixie cut, so I chose to strip the color. Well, this process damaged my hair especially since curly hair tends to be coarse and dryer. So, I had to keep cutting it, something I was hoping to avoid.
As eager as I was to start the process, I never imagined how it was going to affect my confidence, my sex appeal and my overall womanly appearance.
Internally I was having difficulty dealing with this transition. Every morning while looking in the mirror and brushing my teeth, I was struggling with my decision to go natural.
What the F&#% have I done! Every Gremlin came out of the closet!
I knew I could just dye it back to brown and end the misery, but a part of me truly wants to see this through. I feel it will look fabulous once the over processed hair grows out and my long, luscious curls come back, which in my calculations should take 2 years… I’m 5 months in :-/
On a daily basis, I reframe my thoughts, meditate, give gratitude for my healthy body, and mindfully connect to my inner radiance.
Yet, I needed words of encouragement from a wise woman, a woman who has gone through menopause and lived through those changes happening in the body.
I decided to talk to my coach Jaitara about what I was dealing with. Her words of wisdom were exactly what I needed to hear.
“Patty, it takes getting used to when our hair color changes due to age; or when our skin texture changes.
There are two big transition times in the lives of those of us born in a feminine body: Puberty & Menopause.
In menopause, the hormones are only part of it, our hair color changes, our skin starts to loosen, muscle mass takes more work to maintain.
We must go through an entirely new definition of what sexy means to each of us.
There is a big letting go of who we were and how we used to define ourselves as sexy, and a new embracing of the new sexy we are stepping into.
Those of younger years who are pre-menopause tend to not understand the degree of adjustment until they are actually in it. It can be seen as a denial of our maturity, but it’s not. It’s an adjustment and a transition.
It’s not until we actually arrive in these years that we fully “get” that as our physical body changes, who we are inside does not.
We still feel like the same human that we were in our 30’s and 40’s, because we are. We have more knowledge and wisdom, and hopefully we gain emotional intelligence, but for most women as the hair goes grey and the skin loosens, what we feel on the inside, feels like it no longer matches what they we are seeing on the outside.
That’s the adjustment we all go through. It’s a major transition into an entirely new phase of life.”
After she told me these words, I felt deeply understood. It’s wonderful to see our beauty through the eyes of another who is good at communicating it to us, especially other women.
The work is to come back to self-love, self-acceptance and seeing the beauty in who we are… now.
So, I practice what I teach and redefine beauty through my [Charisma Framework]. Everything to embody a new sense of beauty, a new sense magnetic power.
“It all starts with acceptance…. acceptance of what is. Then seeing and feeling things through a new lens. See the beauty in who we are now.”
For now, I am seeing this through. I don’t want to quit as I have a deep curiosity to see my natural silver hair…in all its beauty and vibrancy! I’m learning to love that part of me, as it represents the wisdom I’ve gained through my experiences.
And if along the way I no longer feel the need to continue this journey, it will be okay.
Thank you so much for being a part of this community.
Be all the woman you were meant to be!