Disappointments and turndowns are a part of life. But there’s no reason to accept negativity as a way of life.

Dating at mid-age is more complex. People are dealing with blended families, which can bring more financial stresses. There’s a cautiousness with both genders because of failed marriages, which can leave a person feeling skeptical about the reality of relationships.

So I redefined rejection in these 3 ways:

1. Rejection is NOT personal.

Sometimes the reason why someone says “no” to you when you are flirting has to do with some outside circumstance. It can be for the simplest of reasons like having a bad day at the office, crummy traffic or a more complicated reason like dealing with past relationship issues….NOT YOU.

2. Rejection is a favor.

A man that is not into you is freeing you. He did you a favor turning you loose or else he’d be monopolizing your time from finding a partner that WANTS to be with you. Turnovers are not set backs…they’re opportunities to move forward. Sure it stings, but you want your dates to be with men that are more compatible WITH YOU.

3. Rejection is NOT serious.

Dating is a timing and numbers game. You might get nine “nos” before you get the one “yes”. These dates are a means to practice being feminine and sharing thoughts so that when the right, 10th man arrives, you feel more authentic. Rejection is an equal opportunity annoyance that affects executives, millionaires, artists and philanthropists.

Therefore, I’ve made a commitment to invest in my wellbeing, my social life, my mind, my career… in MYSELF. And I say this because I know one thing, CHANGE IS CONSTANT. There is no certainty in life, so I might as well pursue my life on my way to finding love.

You see, I have found love and have lost love. And I have learned that relationships will come and go because they are preparing you, not because you are flawed.

• Some relationships are for a lifetime. No matter what happens, you will always be together.

• Some relationships are life giving. They can last 1 day to 2 years and they are designed to bring back life into your mind, body and spirit. They let you know you still got it!

• Some relationships are purposeful. They have a defined purpose and when the purpose is complete, so is the relationship.

For me, knowing this has removed any sense of hopelessness, as I hope it does for you.

Keep putting yourself out there with the appropriate mindset knowing that each “no” is getting you closer to a “YES”!

And most importantly, don’t stop yourself from creating the life you want because you are alone…

You only have 1 life, so live it!

Sensually Yours,

Patty Contenta