…and later on did the same for her now deceased husband.

At this time, age 81, Joan decided it was time to fulfil her desires.

In the past year, I’ve worked with her approximately 4 times. We’ve had some intense conversations about sensuality, femininity, flirting and more. She had a hard shell (understandably so), in a constant dual with herself between wanting to express her desires and needing to be respectful.

Yet, slowly, with every conversation and dance move that enhanced her feminine essence, which she deeply longed to show, she began to melt into her inner and outer beauty.

At the end of every coaching session Joan would always say to me,

“You get me, you know what I want.”

I saw her yearning to remove her shell and expose her sensual nature, even at 81.

I witnessed her dominant rational mind shift into her artistic, creative mind-body. Joan wanted to know every subtle detail that would help her embody her femininity. I told her everything and she soaked it up like an eager apprentice.

So last week, Joan was very excited to show me her sensual, feminine, flirtatious development since our last coaching session 4 months earlier.

Her dance was the bolero, and it began with Joan walking across the floor, stopping in a coquette pose where she drops a handkerchief for her suitor (her dance teacher) to pick up.

He, of course immediately comes to her aid, hands Joan her handkerchief and when their eyes meet, the dance begins.

I recognized Joan’s clear intent to entice her partner with every step. Her courage and confidence touched me deeply. I finally saw Joan abandon herself, fully expressing her feminine movement and her wanting to be flirtatious with her teacher (who is in his 30s) and NOT feel like an "old inappropriate hag” (her words).

At the end of her performance, I hugged her and let her know how grateful I was to have witnessed her alluring, elegant and free expression.

And most importantly, how she no longer was “apologizing” for a side of her that was yearning to be declared!

All of this was possible not only because of the thoughts I shared with her, but more importantly because of her teachers who created the environment to bring out her sensual spirit, even when resistance showed up, they NEVER gave up on her!

They never made Joan feel weird or uncomfortable about anything that came out of her mouth.

I share this story with for 3 realizations:

• Your self-expression is a constant discovery, an unravelling of your hidden desires, aspirations and calling. This search allows for the gifts that are within you to be found. So never surrender looking for love within you and love within others.
• Proximity is power. The group of people you surround yourself with can either enhance your growth or diminish it. It’s your responsibility to choose the life you want to lead and with whom you choose to lead it.
• We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we do have some influence on how we respond to the events and hardships in our lives.

I hope this story has inspired you in some way to remain enthusiastic about what could be possible for you…no matter your age. Surround yourself with people who revive your spirit, not dim your light. Life can be tough, so you need a good support team.

In Joy,

Patty Contenta