Top mistakes women deal with when speaking to men…or to anyone!

Many women underestimate the power of their voice.  Not just the words, but the actual tone and cadence of the speaking voice.  Knowing what to avoid when speaking to men -- or to anyone -- is the key to aural seduction.

I should go into this article pointing out that I know you don’t necessarily want to attract everyone you speak to. When I talk of seduction in terms of attracting “anyone”, I want you to keep in mind the actual definition of seductive: “Having alluring, tempting or enticing qualities.” And really, there are very few instances where you wouldn’t want to have those qualities. Think about it: if you are in sales for a living, then what you want is to tempt and entice your potential client into purchasing your product or service. If you want a favor from a co-worker or the best service at a restaurant, then you can build rapport – and get what you want – using these very same qualities. We all know women who seem to get their way all the time, right? It’s because they know how to talk the talk. So don’t think the only application for what I’m teaching you is romantic.

However...the romantic application is likely why you’re here, so I will focus on common mistakes that actually work against you when you’re trying to attract a man:

--Talking too fast—
Slow down, it’s not a race! Speaking too quickly betrays your nerves, making you seem less than confident. It also makes it almost impossible for a man to be truly attentive when your words are speeding by too fast for him to follow. Speak more slowly and enunciate carefully; your words will have more impact, and you will seem together and self-assured.

--Not stopping for breath –
Are you a chatterbox? Do you find yourself monopolizing the conversation when you are socializing at a party or club? While being the life of the party is entertaining in larger group sessions, in a one on one situation, it’s a romance killer. It sends the message that you feel that what YOU have to say is more interesting and worthwhile. Speaking more slowly (as above) and being attentive to his cues will help you find natural breaks in the conversation. Take a break every now and then, give him a chance to relate to you. This shows him that you value what he has to say, and that you desire to know more about him. There MUST be give and take to truly be able to relate with a man, and that includes conversation!

--Speaking too high-pitched—
Do you find your voice getting higher pitched, even a little squeaky, when you are feeling nervous or uncomfortable? It’s a pretty telltale sign, don’t you think? And NOT sexy! Not exactly the message you want to be sending! Dropping your voice an octave not only makes you sound more self-assured, it will give you that throaty, bedroom voice that sounds positively post-coital ….and THAT is guaranteed to get his attention!

--Speaking too loudly—
While some situations, like a noisy club or concert, mean you HAVE to shout just to be heard, speaking loudly creates distance. It makes even a one-on-one conversation less intimate. When you speak loudly enough for the people at the next table to hear, it shows him that what you are saying isn’t personal, or just for him. If you want to encourage a man to move in a little closer, lower the volume a bit. It suggests that your words are a juicy, delicious secret that you want to share with only him. It gives him an excuse to move in a little, smell your perfume, feel the brush of your hair on his forearm…it’s an instant intimacy builder!

So, now that you know some of the mistakes women make when speaking to men--and what to do instead—you don’t have to be one of them. Use the power of your voice to show off the sensual, confident woman you are!